useless

again i felt that i am useless
why?
i couldn't even help my mum to read her letter and explain to her what does the letter says
i tot that i was good
yet,
i am just good in certain area
i need to concur all the area
i need all the knowledge
i feel embarrass
i was proud with everything i have got and i have been showing off to others
and i get all the pride i should have
now, i feel that whatever i have got is just the tiny piece
i still know ntg abt reality
i think that i am good in study and memorising
but i am nothing at applying these knowledge
or should i blame that the knowledge that i learn is all for exam but not applicable in live ?
NO!
who shall i blame ?
myself
for being unproductive and lazy
i have been focusing on the knowledge that is needed for exam
but now , finally i know
that
i have wasted the years where i should have been preparing for my life in the future
now
i would like to force myself , giving myself some pressure
work hard to learn
learn to apply